17 Jan 2012 Comments Off
January 2012 Practice Advice
Questions answered:
- What is practice?
- Can we break the habit of anxiety?
- Why should we deliberately care about how others feel if we are improving ourselves? What is the buddhist common sense about that?
Practice is anything you do again and again. An outcome of practice is often an unwanted outcome. Anxiety “can” be an outcome of repeating negative messages to oneself such as “what would happen if” all the while, ignoring what is happening at the moment. And so, control over what happens next is lost due to worry.
Positive practice is anything done again and again that brings a more comfortable outcome long term, both for you and for everyone else.
A healthy practice of Humility
Questions Answered:
- How can I practice “humility” in a buddhist way, a mentally healthy way?
Buddhism is all about getting an emotional and mentally “healthy” experience of humility. Any practice should function to literally “replace” habits giving us a bad outcome, with habits that take us through the rough times more in one piece. Naturally, if we are in one piece, we are more stable for others. And they can feel better. Domino affect.
Here is an example of a unique and correct “practice” to get a healthy experience of Humility…it is from Ringu Tulku’s video teachings on Shantideva’s The Way of the Bodhisattva other wise known as the Bodhicharyaavatara, available on his web site in short video clips. www.bodhicharya.org
Ringu Tulku says, simply “appreciate.” Of course, this is something we can all do. If we can appreciate a good piece of pie, we can do this practice.
So, deliberately, Appreciate someone’s accomplishment of which you may be jealous! Doing that, can be gut turning at first. Forced. It is deliberate. It removes a normal “jealous” reaction and forces us to open to a different experience. This experience is a moment of directly feeing, just a little bit, what enlightenment feels like.
The new or strange feeling is a taste of true “humility.” It is not stable yet. It is not permanent. But it happened. It can happen again and again. It is called true here, because it is consistent with the truth of enlightenment. Enlightenment is vibrant and permanent; this simple exercise moves us very quickly toward that goal.
This totally positive experience of “humility” coming from listening and applying buddhist instructions is a transformation of envy. And, it is a taste of what true enlightenment feels like when it really kicks in.
If we practice this, we experience this correct feeling of humility. We learn humility is not shame and it is not feeling “lower than.” It is not feeling disempowered. Our culture, tv, parents, loved ones, may mistakenly have brought us up to feel that humility is these negative feelings or we may have had a tendency to strengthen a negative experience for ourselves! Blame is not buddhist teaching. It does not matter. Becoming positive is what matters. Taking responsibility for one’s life experience…this is buddhism.
Samsara; what we call a rather painful life, can be changed through practice
Questions Answered:
- Must I deliberately apply buddhist teachings to my own experience to change?
- I can do it once, why do it again and again? I want to meditate!
Reminder: This is how buddhist teachings give our human experience, a “correction” from our misinterpretation of what is good for us and everyone else.
Why should we trust this? Because it is exactly this that has brought generations of Lamas and ordinary lay practitioners more wisdom, more compassion and more peace of mind. This unending improvement is called enlightenment.
The desire to improve is present in all people. Everyone wants to be happier, it’s all in finding the technique that works.
So, one example of a Daily Practice of Humility can look very simple; appreciating one’s co-worker, family member or enemy, several times a day. The feeling we get from that is a deep gut experience that purifies our reaction of envy.
Simplicity does not mean it is a “baby” practice for those who cannot sit in meditation for six hours without moving. The high Lamas, highly realized teachers always talk about keeping these exercises active.
It affects meditation. As you lead your mind, you will sit in meditation differently. The Reality of how things exist in the world, will assert itself in your experience as you relax deeply. Gradually you won’t fall asleep, become dull, push away thoughts, or give into too much excitement; humility practice will calm down reactions to stress.
It’s that simple. Remembering to practice is the job of a buddhist. Choosing what to practice is a path. Feeling okay is our human right and destiny. Compassion and Wisdom are already within us and need the chance to be brought out.
Practice brings it out. Repeating what’s good for us, brings out good things.
EQUANIMITY
Questions Answered:
- Why learn or care what the experience of equanimity feels like?
- When I can’t think of how to help myself by quietly meditating, what to do?
When meditation is difficult or when it feels like the “unknown” and like even hostile territory, pick out something else to do as practice.
One of the most important aspects of buddhism is developing something called “equanimity.” Without it, tonglen is difficult (for those familiar with tonglen). This particular approach to equanimity was taught extensively by Khen Rinpoche when he taught on Lojong here.
After we die, or as we die, the experience of equanimity will help us not resist being content.
And with equanimity, one can rest in meditation more easily.
So what is equanimity? It is easily experienced now, in this body, in this lifetime.
A simple Reflection to practice equanimity
Questions Answered:
- How can I possibly regard my office mate who can’t stand me, as a friend?
- Can reflecting on a “hypothetical” or fantasy scenario, change my whole View of life’s possibilities?
How does “Reflection” on something like this, or practice of this, save me years of repeating the same mental habits and suffering?
“Think carefully and in detail; how an enemy, if one day, you have a car accident, they don’t know who you are but they come running out of their car to help you. All their bad feeling drops away. They call 911. After you have recovered, you are tremendously grateful and call them, thank them. On the phone, they share several intimate experiences with you of their own suffering from an accident and you see them in a new way.” They can, in that moment, become a friend.
They behaved as a friend; they wanted to help. They didn’t hesitate. They brought you to have the best care. When you called, they were receptive. Isn’t this the behavior of a friend? It doesn’t fit the category of an enemy. It’s no longer even possible to be sure they are an enemy.
Then, spend some time thinking very carefully about a friend. Suddenly one day, They think you have done something bad to them and they retaliate without checking things out. You see an aspect of their character you didn’t see before…and it results in loss of trust.” They have fallen into a category of not exactly your best friend.
Equanimity is simply relaxing our most extreme “concepts” about people. Its seeing greater possibilities so we don’t “jump” to conclusions or make judgements. We have fewer Fantasies of “my friend for life!!!” or, “my blood sworn enemy.” It’s more mature.
Reflection replaces the “actual” experience of gaining and losing friends hundreds of times and arriving at equanimity.
What does the evolved human look like as a result of this practice?
Fewer expectations of people brings continued seeing them instead of seeing what you want to see. Or expect to see. Conditioning is less. Living in reality instead of fantasy is more possible. If you live in reality instead of fantasy, things work more predictably. Reality is practice, like a machine. Yet amazingly, it’s made of love, compassion and wisdom. It has no fear. This is what people discover all the time. It’s not buddhist, it’s the human capacity. Buddhism merely has techniques that many religions, therapists and others are using to help.
If you are my friend, I’d like you to remember I’m just a human, and can make mistakes. If you are my enemy, I’d like you to remember I feel just like you. We can be more tender with each other, even under the worst circumstances.
If, for some reason, our governments decide to go to war, we can make an individual decision, not to abide by those rules and to have compassion. Bring peace again through our individual action.
Equanimity. We can practice equanimity in our mind. As we do, our experience of life becomes more bearable.
